Kidnapped

24th Jan. 2000
Morning 6:30 : Received a mail to kidnap someone, a pic was attached to the mail. My eyes went to the picture. It was a small, beautiful, green-eyed girl about 15-16 years old. I had to kidnap her from her school as this was the only time she would be alone with only her driver. I followed her for 3 days and planned to nab her on the 4th day. Everything was ready and set to go. Fourth day came, I followed her car as she was going back home from her school. I overtook the car in a lonely street and applied the breaks in front her car. The driver came out and I shot one bullet which hit his thigh. I went into the car, got my handkerchief with the two drops of chloroform on it and put it on her face. The two drops were too strong for her, i just sat there and watched her continuously for the 6-7 hours it took to come out of unconsciousness. She was more beautiful than she looked in her pic. She opened her eyes and started shouting, i told her it was of no use as no one would hear her voice. Then i convinced her that i am no harm to her as i was being paid to do so. I reassured her as best as possible that i won't do anything to her. She sat in the corner but i was still able to see fear on her face and her lovely eyes. I brought pizza and coke for her but she refused. I was like a blank face, nothing left to say with no reason so I left her alone in the room. After 3 hours i went back to the room, she had the coke and pizza and was sleeping. The chilly Canadian winds made her shiver, so I went into my room and brought bring my blanket and put it over her. A smile came on my face when i saw how she was sleeping hugging the pillow tight in her arms.
I went back to my room, sat on the chair, and thought that how the girl reminded me of my daughter. She must be of 10 years now. My wife wanted me to leave all the crimes and surrender but money was all i needed. Today i felt lonely and complexed when I saw the way the girl hugged the pillow, i thought that even my girl would have hugged me like, if she was with me. But sadly, i had chosen money and not her.

Two days went by and she was getting frank with me, i assured her that her father will give money and she will be free soon. I was getting too close to her, her conversations with me reached my heart. Everything was going fine until my cell rang.

Evening 5:10 : I was ordered to shoot the girl and leave the place as soon as possible as her father was not able to pay that amount. At a single moment in my mind I went totally blank. We were trained professionals, orders and duties were like GOD to us. We were taught only one thing "DO OR DIE". So the duty was duty for me. Loading my gun was hard to do but i couldn't step back. No chances of mistake, no place for emotions too. "Do Or Die" was the only thing that was going in my mind at that time. At the end my mind was set. I gave a missed call to SQUAD Headquarter. If they would feel something suspected, then it would take about 20 minutes for them to reach here and my work will be done in 5 minutes. Went to my room and burnt all the documents. Handed all my letters that i had written for my wife and daughter to my neighbour with her current address to be posted to her later (as i never had the power and strength to post them to her, but i knew after this everything will change in my life). Now i had only one thing left with me, my wife and daughter's pic. I put it into my upper pocket near my heart.
I went to the girl's room. My last words to her were "I am really very sorry". It was hard to do that, tears fell down my eyes but i pressed the trigger with a stone heart. That place became too silent, even the winds stopped. And i left that place forever. Ten minutes after, the cops reached the apartment. It was impossible for anyone to survive from the close point range to the head. But the girl was found perfectly fine but was little shocked, i was happy to see her family happy and thus i gained a place in Heaven. Hope someone in this world will cry for me too now, atleast once :) ..................

I dream but not of love anymore

You are forever buried in a blanket of darkness,
Your name will be a lasting curse to me.
Hell shall take over your earthly goodness
Such a lie, and you made my tears a memory...

Promises you gave which never reached heaven
Yet I craved every damn pictures of bliss
You left my heart in total unbearable burden
You poisoned me with your last kiss...

What you did, to me was so foreign
Yet I believe you had a reason...
I still feel my tears...despite all the rain
Now I know..for you to deceive...I was chosen

Now it's over and you leave me with open eyes
Tears rage down with hymns of lore
I still think of you despite your disturbing lies
I dream but not of love anymore...

I dream but not of love anymore
I close my eyes but now these visions restore
I try not to dream of you anymore
But helpless as I watch the frozen moments grow
I try not to feel your touch anymore
But it’s useless now as it is very deep to the core

I dream but not of love anymore ….....

CENSORED PAINS

To forget someone is easy , to ignore is hard,
its like holding your own heart and cutting it into parts.
To chisel your skin until you can see bones,
walking barefooted on spines,broken mirrors and fine stones,
Cutting one of your vein and see every drop of blood getting waste on the floor,
Putting red chillies over your wounds that it may hurt more and more.
Biting your own tongue till blood comes out of it,
then regularly drinking something hot that you may burn every bit.
Mark cuts on your body and go out in snow,
to feel the cold act of pain that you never know.
The pain penetrates inside in such a way that the skin,bones and even soul may creech,
thats the limit this pain sometimes reach.
Yes forgetting someone is easy but to ignore is hard,
hurts inside like you are winner and there is no one to regard or reward.
Guess what it takes to live with so much stress and strains,
These are some of my Censored Pains.

Friends whom i left far behind

As I sat here through my tears

I look back on all the years

Games we lost and won

The prom where we had so mch fun

Having fun with great laughter

We all lived happliy ever after

I can never take back those days

and now its too late

Make an amends with

old best friends

We will be friends forever

Amigos, buddies, pals

Where you are, I’ll be

No matter how many miles

We will be friends forever

No matter how many mistakes you or I make

Because as long we are friends

There’s nothing we couldn’t take

We will be friends forever

No matter where we’ll be

Because when we leave one another behind

You’ll be in my heart all the time

We will be friends forever

No matter how old we are

Because when you’re friends forever

You’ll never be too far
For now I say ,from today til forever

Goodbye to all that came my way.

AM THE KING ! -- BY RAJJI