I dream but not of love anymore

You are forever buried in a blanket of darkness,
Your name will be a lasting curse to me.
Hell shall take over your earthly goodness
Such a lie, and you made my tears a memory...

Promises you gave which never reached heaven
Yet I craved every damn pictures of bliss
You left my heart in total unbearable burden
You poisoned me with your last kiss...

What you did, to me was so foreign
Yet I believe you had a reason...
I still feel my tears...despite all the rain
Now I know..for you to deceive...I was chosen

Now it's over and you leave me with open eyes
Tears rage down with hymns of lore
I still think of you despite your disturbing lies
I dream but not of love anymore...

I dream but not of love anymore
I close my eyes but now these visions restore
I try not to dream of you anymore
But helpless as I watch the frozen moments grow
I try not to feel your touch anymore
But it’s useless now as it is very deep to the core

I dream but not of love anymore ….....

CENSORED PAINS

To forget someone is easy , to ignore is hard,
its like holding your own heart and cutting it into parts.
To chisel your skin until you can see bones,
walking barefooted on spines,broken mirrors and fine stones,
Cutting one of your vein and see every drop of blood getting waste on the floor,
Putting red chillies over your wounds that it may hurt more and more.
Biting your own tongue till blood comes out of it,
then regularly drinking something hot that you may burn every bit.
Mark cuts on your body and go out in snow,
to feel the cold act of pain that you never know.
The pain penetrates inside in such a way that the skin,bones and even soul may creech,
thats the limit this pain sometimes reach.
Yes forgetting someone is easy but to ignore is hard,
hurts inside like you are winner and there is no one to regard or reward.
Guess what it takes to live with so much stress and strains,
These are some of my Censored Pains.

Friends whom i left far behind

As I sat here through my tears

I look back on all the years

Games we lost and won

The prom where we had so mch fun

Having fun with great laughter

We all lived happliy ever after

I can never take back those days

and now its too late

Make an amends with

old best friends

We will be friends forever

Amigos, buddies, pals

Where you are, I’ll be

No matter how many miles

We will be friends forever

No matter how many mistakes you or I make

Because as long we are friends

There’s nothing we couldn’t take

We will be friends forever

No matter where we’ll be

Because when we leave one another behind

You’ll be in my heart all the time

We will be friends forever

No matter how old we are

Because when you’re friends forever

You’ll never be too far
For now I say ,from today til forever

Goodbye to all that came my way.

AM THE KING ! -- BY RAJJI

M Da King

M da king of broken hearts,
m da king of paralyzed parts.
Hundreds of thousands under my reign,
i have given them tears and pains.

M da king of fused lamp posts,
m da king of rotten , burnt toasts.
My people dun die with hunger or starvage,
i give them enough in bins and garbage.

M da king without homes,
m da king without phones.
To survive i dun need any power and property,
my people call me as Poverty, Poverty and Poverty.

Love to live , live to love :)

All will cry 1 day , i too will cry,
All will die 1 day , i too will die.
Nothing Remains with ya forever,
No gold,no property and no cash,
Soul will be fumes and body ash.
Gaps of relations are filled by some new relations,
No one will remember u in any occasions.
People are so selfish, they won't remember ur love,
All they gonna remember is "Hey! Rajji took 1 of my stuff",
What u gave them is forgotten,
and what u took, is alwayz repeated by them.
Parents go....., children grow,
Grand-children grow, u go.
Men crazy for money, power and sex,
Time is moving, no time to relax.
Women buzy with diamonds, gossips and phones,
Oopss forgot where's that dead Rajji gone.
So don't waste your time running behind money,
Just sit back and relax with your honey.
Love someone who gonna love u back,
Love someone who gonna remember you after ur death.
Love is the only immense power that u can give,
Preach love and live with it as long as u live.

WHOZ THE MUDERER???

There was a 15 year old kid Dhruv. His parents were very demanding. Many parents are, but this case was different, both mom and dad were very strict with him. They keep him telling to get good percentages in exams all the time. Some most common things that cud be heard in that house was: “How come you always get so less percentage? Do you really want to study or should we take you out of that school? Just look at your friend Anish, he always get good percentages. This time he got 83% and you just scored 78%.” Most of the time his parents were harsh with him. Too much pressure on him every time. Even while eating food his father always taunted him. He was forced to study for about 4-5 hours daily. He was totally fed up of his life.

One day he was with Anish, both were flying kites but suddenly something came into Dhruv’s mind and he pushed Anish from the terrace and Anish died. People think it was just an accident and everything ended soon. Dhruv was afraid and guilty on what he did. Months passed away, everything was going fine, no mental pressure, no taunts, nothing for Dhruv now. Even the guilt inside him was no more. He was happy now and had many new friends. Time passed by and exams came, this time Dhruv was prepared so he was expecting very good result and he was having no tension as for now neither his mom nor his dad will scold him for less percentages(that was what he thought). Results were out and he got 81 %, he was very happy. But his father said “Just 81%, Mr. Sharma’s boy have scored 82.4%, learn something from him” and Dhruv was stunned and shocked. He now realized what had he done. He was in too much shock and he committed a suicide at the end, just to repent.

Two deaths took place in this story. Whom you think is the murderer?? Dhruv or someone else??

SHAME BEING ALIVE

What's alive ? Who is alive ?
All dead, all black,
Black inside, white outside.
What's dead ? Who is dead ?
Something dead inside but we still alive.
Friends gone, relations gone,
Fame ON, Money ON.
All wearing masks and some with layers of masks,
with Sweet plastic smiles on their faces,
and makeups to hide your ugly traces.
Yes i am one of them and this is our life
and with shame i say m still alive.

You cant' touch the dreams

The affection of mother I refused
I ignored all my friends
I was alone as I desired
I thought I’d learn the lesson
It was a sweet child dream

Should I believe in destiny?
Could you disappear of my life?
I can’t stand close to you
Your lies wound me deeply
I beg you stop to deceive me

Everyone uses us to satisfy their desires
Unfortunately this is our life
Am I just a puppet in the hands of the great universe?

In the last days I felt so useless
Are you afraid of disappointing me?
I know nobody is perfect
Who am I to disagree of laws of the nature?

What have I done to be happy?
Is it possible to see through my eyes?
In the sea of contradictions
Where any human being lives in the Earth

How it’s difficult to trust
Everything that you can’t see
Everything that you can’t touch
Cause dreams you can’t touch
You can’t prove for the world
That they are real to you

Broken World

I don't know why I feel
The way that I do now.
With an urge to kill,
A desire to thrill,
While my world crashes down.

Once upon a time,
I was angel with silver wings-
I broke my word,
I killed my dreams,
But nobody there forgave my sins.

So now I'm just this victim
Of preconception
And true damnation,
Wracked with splinters,
Reminding me of
My wicked immoralation.

I'm reaching out into a world
I can no longer see.
Twisting emotions,
Chaotic potions,
Of longing for the person
I used to know as me.

CHAHAT

Jisko kabhi sheesha kabhi aina kehte ho tum,
Seene ke us muqaam mein hum rehna chahte hai,


Maujon ka daar nahi hai ,sahil se nahi hai pyaar,
Bas thamlo hume tum,hum behna chahte hai,


Aankhon ne baat karli, nazro ne bhedh khola,
Ab honth kaampte hai kuch kehna chahte hai,


Kya yaad karoge humko jab paas hum na honge,
Tere khawaab mein khayal mein hum rehna chahte hai,


Khayal mein tere aks se yeh sab to keh chuke hai,
Tere saamne agar ho ijazat kehna chahte hai..!!!

A Love Story That Didn't Worked Out

July 13 afternoon

Both met on messenger the usual hi hello, BOY tried to ask her wat happened back there but she didn't understand so he went offline

but he sent a testimonial to her this :
"i wanted to ask u that wat wrong i did that u left me plz answer me"

In the night 11:15

Boyz Frnd calls him and tells him his yahoo account has been hacked so BOY comes online and GAL is also online so .........................

BOY: am waiting for ur reply
GAL: look.....i dont waana talk abt dat..its better u shuld forget all dat..nd still if u want to be my frnd.u r most welcum
BOY: i said its my last question i just need to know why thats it
GAL: dat means if i dont answer ur questoin ..u ll not talk to me.?
BOY: answer my question first and i'll answer all ur questions after that
BOY: am still waiting .................. waiting from past hr now answer me
BOY: what wrong i did
GAL: trust me i never had any hard feelings for u...bt it was just dat ..our relationship was not workin ..i never had dat kind of feelings 4 u...it shuld be better ki hum sirf dost hote
BOY: but u never talked about it
GAL: ab bata rahi hu na
BOY: if our relationship was not working out then why didnt u told me so
GAL: i was not able to
BOY: ok thank you for clearing this confusion :) i had i'll make sure u never hear my name again ur life again
BOY: bye forever
i still loved u

BOY went offline and recieve this msg as sms

GAL: its very nice of u to say that ...... bt plz understand ......... we can still be gud frnzz ..if u want to.....i'll wait for ur reply cyaa

JULY 14 1:40 pm

BUZZ!!!
BOY: i really apreciate that u r intrested in being friends but plz its not possible even if we remain as friends i wont be able to stop myself from coming close to u. two ex - lovers can never become good friends. its better that we stay away from each other :)
BUZZ!!!
GAL: okk..no problem...bt still u aquire a place in my heart....
BOY: plz dont lie
BOY: u were the first person who made me cry becouse of u i was not able to sleep for 6 months only thinking wat went wrong MARK MY WORKS THE SAME THING WILL HAPPEN WITH U ALSO AND THEN U'LL FEEL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING I WENT THROUGH
GAL: m not lying..its upto u to beleive me...nd i m very sory for hurting u ..bt kabhi na kabhi toh u had to face it..
BOY: plzzzzzzzz now dont let me feel.........................................................

SOMEBODY ........................................

Somebody came into my dreams,
And left a thousand memories.
Somebody became mine,
And left me the waiting.

Somebody is far from me today,
But very close to my heart.
Somebody became a stranger to me,
But left me the Love of a thousand years.
Now the morning beauty is gone,
And the night of loneliness begins.

Somebody got close to me,
And my life completely changed.
Somebody left me to the bitter seasons,
And left me the memories of spring.
Somebody made promises to me,

And left me with a broken heart.
Somebody came into my dreams,
And left a thousand memories.
If you are wondering who was it
That somebody was . . . .

PYAAR

pyar eeswar ki den hai
ise badnaam na kijiye
sansaar main aae ho to
doosron se pyar kijiye
jis se pyar kiya hai
to use apnaiye
sansaar rooth jaae to kya
pyar ko na roothne di jiye
eeswar se kuch maangna hai
to pyar hi maangiye
pyar par tiki hai zindgi
yeh jaan lijiye
pyar ek aaina hai
is main apne aapko dekhiye
pyar ek amanat hai
ise samhaal kar rakhiye
pyar ek raasta hai
door se manzil talaasiye
pyar ek wada hai
is wade ko nibhaiye
pyar agar kiya hai to
duniya se na dariye
jisse pyar kiya hai
uska intzaar kijiye

Mujhe tera pyaar chahiye

• Kaafir hai zindagi, panaah chahiye,
• pathbhrast hai zindagi aastha chahiye,
• sooni hai ye, khusiyaan ise sab chahiye,
• sar pe chaadar nahi koi mashab chahiye.
• Sahara nahi hai, tinka chahiye,
• tere dar aana hai, raasta chahiye,
• aaj tak na manga, aaj mangta hoon, ek udhaar chahiye,
• deta hai to de mujhe tera pyaar chahiye,
• mujhe tera pyaar chahiye.

Am I Free ???

I still remember that night. About 1 year before a mysterious dream went through me, while I was sleeping. Someone knocked my door, it was raining out and the night was really very dark .I tried watching through eyehole but it didn’t helped me out. I opened the door there was a man standing in front of me, tied with chains. I was afraid though i was unable to see the face it was looking dull, I realized i have to go to eyes specialist to change my number again. But my mind came out of that when I again thought of that man. He cried and begged in front of me please…….please help me out, free me from these chains. I thought i should help him out, as i moved my hands to open his chain he laughed at me and said to me:”How would you free me??? You too are like me”. I was shocked and a little rude and closed the door without any helps. And there I could hear voice of my alarm clock. I took a little time to think over that dream but remembered I m late by 5 minutes. Damn I m getting late ufff……………. As I went to office I was about 15 minutes late. My boss called me to his cabin, he was angry on me and told me:This is the second time I m warning you. You are always late to office. We are not giving you salary for free.” I said sorry and came out of the cabin. My mood was upset because of that dream and my f**king boss, still have much work to do, so I got busy again with my work.

Days went off, each day same shit, nothing special, nothing new all boring work and work. Ohh yeah have to send salary to home, I just thought about that hmmmm…… what’s next lets check the call history. Ooops 3 missed call 2 from office and 1 from home, there is a message too attached to it. “Seems like you have forgot everything, the billing dates are near, when u gonna send the money???”

Months went off each month same schedule. Finally got holiday, so came home. Ahhhh at last gonna be free. Reached the door took a deep breath of relaxation and got my finger on the door bell. All came out to welcome me, the king is back to his kingdom. All asked me about me “How are you??You looking very thin, they don’t give u food to eat kya???” Had lunch with the family, slept after that as I was tired. Good morning……..oops its evening slept in noon after a long time. “The dinner is ready”: mom shouted. “Yeah, coming mom”. Wow my favorite dish: “Thanks mom”. While having dinner pop said: “So when you getting promotions???”. “Yeah soon maybe”: I replied. “How much money you getting right now???” “45,000 Rps right now.” Chats gone for a long time, but dunno what I said, dad got angry on me. ”Do what you wanna do it’s your own life, you never care for anyone. Just look at Mr. Sharma’s son, he too is of same age as you are………..” : he said. Mom came in between taking my side, stopped father. I came to my room, mood was spoiled. Why a father always thinks that his son lie no where??? I was not feeling sleeping by any chance, so jus jumped on my bed with my eyes wide open, lights OFF only a dim lamp was ON. Don’t remember when I slept, that same dream came again. But the face was not dim this time, I was shocked to see that man, he looked like me……..i mean he was me. I was confused. He laughed at me and asked me: “So, now are you free??? Is your life in your hand or you have to depend on others for your decisions…….What are you working for??? Your relations or yourself or just for money??? You are just living for relations, You are not living relations.” He said that and vanished and the dream too was broken. I wasn’t able to sleep after that….That dream really made me think over it…………………….AM I REALLY FREE???????

ARE WE REALLY FREE??????. All working for money, all working to survive in this world just for power and prestige. No time to share our tensions, pains and even happiness with someone. Even the family matters ends at so called money topic. I m really working for money so as all. NO WE ARE NOT FREE.

My First Poem In English-Itz all abt Love & Passion

Hold it tight ,
I gonna burn the night.
Starting from a minute then to hours,
I gonna love ya till i can see the stars.

My love is my passion,
My passion is my need.
Love is all i need,
Love and only love indeed.

Gonna touch your lips,
gonna feel your heart.
Mix up with your soul,
so that we may never get apart.

Gonna move into your every vein,
Gonna feel your happiness,gonna live your pain.
Oh ! don't leave my hand tonight,
Rest on my shoulder and hold me tight.

Wanna feel your body, feel your heat.
Wanna live this moment that's what i need.

In between if God comes to take me away,
I gonna say:"Pls oh pls leave me today ,
and after that you can kill me twice,you can kill me thrice,
You can kill my name as i never even survived.
This is the only moment the only birth lemme live it ,lemme live it.
I have something inside for mah love lemme give it ,lemme give it."

Hold it tight,
I gonna burn the night.
Starting from a minute then to hours,
I gonna love ya till i can see the stars.